she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
