Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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