just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
