I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
