I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
