I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize