He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
