i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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