Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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