That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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