New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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