Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
