I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
