no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
