I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
