Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
third nipple confirmed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
