I think I died a long time ago.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
