you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
