Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
