Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
