Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize