i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
