I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
