Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
