i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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