is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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