nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
