sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize