i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm too high and old for this...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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