wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
