if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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