on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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