This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
In America we eat man semen.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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