Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
