its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I bet he comes in French.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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