That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
