her vagine was all disorganized.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
