It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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