her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
