What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
