My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
