yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
