he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
