I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
