I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
