She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize