Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
