First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
