Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
