The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
