do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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