Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
