I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
operation harelip BJ is a go
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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