paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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